I lost my patience again…
Since the start of 2021, I've thought about the mission and purpose of emme jewelry. This project started to heal my relationship with motherhood. I was an unhappy, ungrateful, and impatient mom, and through jewelry and how it made me feel, I was able to reshape my days and transform my life. I learned to be a joyful mom for extended periods, so I asked myself: Is emme's purpose still valid?
Es que nadie me ayuda!A couple of weeks ago, I went into full meltdown mode, pointing fingers at things I wish someone else had done. I raised my voice and then regretted it… as always. While the words "no one helps me around here" were coming out of my mouth, I was having flashbacks to my saddest moments as a mom. The weight of my unbearable guilt and the victimization of my caregiver role was coming back to me.
"I thought I was over that motherhood stage, but I'm not."
I was once again the overwhelmed mom that forgot what she praises and prays. What is different now is that I know how the story goes. I've reached that moment of despair with the same recipe. I was tired because I had overstretched my schedule, working late for weeks. I didn't respect my weekends nor my morning routine. I'd lost touch with myself and with emme's purpose.
After my rant, I went to bed feeling defeated and tired, but everything was new the following day. What a difference a good night's rest makes. I woke up rested and excited for an upcoming family trip. I took my time to have my emme moment, that moment in silence where I connect with myself by putting on a fresh pair of earrings. Even though I was ashamed of my behavior, my kids were at the other side of the bedroom door waiting for me as nothing had happened.
emme's purpose will be with me forever
Their eyes were wide open out of excitement because I was about to spend time with them. They were loving and funny as always, and in their grace, I found my redemption and my patience again. That is the beauty of motherhood; it takes you to the extreme of your abilities only to show you the infinite grace that lies within. In our kids' eyes, we always find grace; we are always the perfect mom, the only one they need. And while I'm a mom, I'm going to need to be reminded of that.